EVERYONE DIP
HAS TO DEAL WITH.

The cast is officially called “The Refrigerated Community.” Unofficially, Dip calls them “people who have my number.”

Dippington “Dip” Cone III

STATUS: MOIST OCCUPATION: TARGET

Anxious, polite, prone to catastrophic forecasting. Keeps a will in his chocolate shell where nobody can access it.

Myrna Napkin

ABSORBENCY: 2-PLY INTENT: UNCLEAR

A funeral director, claims adjuster, and former pageant queen. Dip believes her career is “suspiciously melt-adjacent.” She says that's prejudiced.

Steve Spoon

MATERIAL: STAINLESS THREAT: ACCIDENTAL

A perfectly pleasant spoon who cannot understand why Dip screams whenever he enters the room. Steve works in accounting.

Dr. Milton Soft Serve

PHD: DISPUTED LAB COAT: REAL

The world's leading expert on Dipped Cone emergence because he printed that on his own business card. Has been banned from three freezers.

The Sprinkles Collective

COUNT: CHANGING VOICE: ONE

Thirty-seven sprinkles sharing a single consciousness and a hatchback. They speak in unison except Kevin, who is half a second late.

☀️

The Sun

DISTANCE: NOT ENOUGH MOTIVE: PHYSICS

Not technically a villain. Dip has submitted 46 complaints anyway. All were returned because the Sun has no mailing address.

👄

Consumer 4B

IDENTITY: UNKNOWN TEETH: TOO MANY

A recurring giant presence seen only in security footage, reflected glass, and Dip's stress dreams. May simply be a person named Cheryl.

🧊

Mother Freezer

TEMP: 0°F ROLE: SPIRITUAL

An ordinary commercial freezer that Dip considers a maternal figure. It has never reciprocated, but its compressor once clicked twice.