MEET DIP.
DON'T EAT HIM.
Dippington “Dip” Cone III is a chocolate-dipped vanilla ice cream cone, provisional citizen, merchandise icon, and mammal-adjacent panic event who would like to survive long enough to see Thursday.
HE'S NOT “JUST DESSERT.”
HE'S ALSO A TAX PROBLEM.
Vanilla Interior
Soft, cold, emotionally available. Scientists classify Dip's vanilla as “thinking custard” because every other phrase was worse.
Chocolate Shell
0.8 millimeters of courage. Breaks loudly. Dip insists every crack “counts as a workplace injury.”
Waffle Infrastructure
Load-bearing cone lattice. Also his legs. Also his house. Biology got tired halfway through.
THE THREE THINGS DIP FEARS MOST
1. A Mouth
Any mouth. Your mouth. A decorative mouth on a billboard. The word “mouth” printed too large.
2. Room Temperature
Dip considers 72°F to be “an industrial oven with throw pillows.”
3. Compliments
“You look delicious” is not a compliment when your torso is a dairy product.
DIP: BEFORE THE DRIP
A prestige documentary about the controversial 1897 dipping, the first synchronized scream, the Great Napkin Panic, and one historian who is absolutely making things up.
WATCH THE DOCUMENTARY— The Frozen Review, a magazine we invented five minutes ago
PRODUCTS FOR A PROBLEM WE CREATED
CryoCone™
The cone that does not begin melting until you open the box. What happens before opening is proprietary.
View product →BAG FOR CONE™
A tiny bag. For a cone. $9.00. We have already won several design awards from ourselves.
View bag →Dip Plush
Squeezes to say one of 14 reassuring phrases, including “WHO IS HOLDING ME?”
View emotional liability →