OFFICIAL STATUS: NOT YET EATEN · INTERNAL TEMPERATURE: WORRYING · DO NOT PLACE WEBSITE NEAR RADIATOR
AN ORIGINAL DOCUMENTARY

DIP:
BEFORE THE DRIP

A serious film about a profoundly unserious historical emergency. Includes reenactments, archival evidence, disputed scholarship, and the phrase “thinking custard” said with professional confidence.

RUNTIME: 00:36RATING: PG-34°FLANGUAGE: ENGLISH / PANICSUBTITLES: BURNED IN FOR LEGAL REASONS

Best experienced with headphones and at least one exit route.

PRODUCTION NOTES

Historical Accuracy

Every claim in the film has been verified by at least one person who was standing near a printer.

Archival Footage

Several sequences were recreated because cameras in 1897 could not safely enter Chocolate Vat B.

Dip's Participation

Dip left production after seeing the catering table. His interview is represented by a chair kept at 34°F.

CONSUMER PROXIMITY EVENT

DON'T EAT DIP.

He has already made weekend plans and prepaid parking.