OFFICIAL STATUS: NOT YET EATEN · INTERNAL TEMPERATURE: WORRYING · DO NOT PLACE WEBSITE NEAR RADIATOR
OFFICIAL TRAINING SIMULATOR

DIP: LUNCH
ESCAPE PROTOCOL

Navigate Digestive County. Avoid mouths, napkins, spoons, solar events, and the crushing understanding that your species was invented as a treat. Collect freezer units. Deploy panic sprinkles. Scream tactically.

WASD / ARROWS = MOVESPACE = PANIC SPRINKLESX = TACTICAL SCREAM

How To Not Die

Blue freezer units reduce melt. BAG FOR CONE™ gives one shield. Mouths, napkins, spoons and heat hurt. After enough chaos, a Customer arrives.

Why Is This Happening?

Following the 2007 cafeteria event, all sentient cones are required to complete Lunch Escape training annually. Dip has failed nine times because the menu screen makes him nervous.

CONSUMER PROXIMITY EVENT

DON'T EAT DIP.

He has already made weekend plans and prepaid parking.